If the Divinyls Sang it Again, it Would Be ‘I Touch My Cell’…

We want to stop… but we can’t stop touching… and what’s worse, it’s so blatantly public now… we touch in public as if it’s the most natural thing in the world… we will stop a conversation, interrupt an important meeting because we want to touch it. On a good day, we only give in once… ah, who are we kidding… we give in 3 or 4 times… and we know it’s bad… it only feels good at the moment we do it, but after we feel ashamed for being unable to control ourselves…. well, there’s only one way to get a grip…

Just stop touching your phones, people!

First of all, it’s a dirty habit- literally. Look at your touchscreen phone after 15 minutes. It reminds you that no matter how much you wash your hands, your dermis obviously produces as much oil as a Canola factory.

Second, with the built-in ‘ringing’ feature, you don’t have to look to see if you’ve gotten a call. The advanced ‘message tone’ feature should also indicate without having to check visually, that you have received a message. Nonetheless, the very sophisticated ‘lights up’ option in both cases serves as secondary signal that you indeed did get a call or a message.

Third, did you ever call the post office incessantly or drive there every 5 minutes to check if you’ve received mail? Well, why keeping checking your Google or Yahoo accounts then? Suddenly because the mail is electronic, it’s better mail? More interesting mail?

Fourth, when you go out with a friend to have dinner, may you at least tell that friend to bring along someone to actually eat with so they can engage in live conversation while your hand is glued to your ear? Could you at least bring along your iPad, so that while you’re on the phone, they can watch a movie?

Fifth, if you need to put your phone on vibrate mode, then you sadly haven’t experienced nor appreciated for that matter the original intention of electronics that vibrate. If you are so desperately afraid to miss a call that you need the phone to gyrate your pocket, at least have your pocket sewn in 5 inches towards the center of your inseams so the phone call can bring you true, elated happiness.

It’s a phone. You had one in your home. Just because you can now carry it around with doesn’t mean its function is really that different than before.

Otherwise, we should really start to worry what will happen with you mobiphiles when they make showers portable too.


4 thoughts on “If the Divinyls Sang it Again, it Would Be ‘I Touch My Cell’…

  1. kzackuslheureux

    I bought a PAGER when I was in college. I just HATED Cellphones, now my husband insists I have one, but when I went to the pager/cellphone store, they had to dig a pager out of the back office from a dusty box. I hated being at school where I heard EVERYONE’s personal life story the minute we stepped out of class. I just missed a booth so bad, if nothing else, I could step into it and close the door. Why do people think we want to know anything about thier conversation with their ex-boyfriend?

  2. insahmity

    Thank you for for being so perceptive and funny. I had the same thoughts about eyes glued to phones for no good reason, but of course you said it much better.


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