Abbreviations used to stand for large, formative, intelligent organizations like NASA or the CIA- okay at least large organizations. Abbreviations were the shortened version or endearing version at least of a hyphenated name, like J.R. Euwing (for you digital natives, he was us Atari generation’s baddest character prime time TV… and prime time TV is what you waited all day to watch because you couldn’t Tivo, get its shows on demand or watch them on YouTube… since the only high tech stuff we had besides Atari was an answering machine).
But, never in all the literature of mankind, in ANY language, did anyone abbreviate A LAUGH.
Neither Hemingway, Poe, Shakespeare, Voltaire, nor Alfred E. Neuman used the ‘LOL’. What I don’t get is, why every author up until the 20th century used expressions like, ‘giggle’, ‘broke out in laughter’ or just ‘laughed and laughed’, but for some reason, with the advent of the Internet, suddenly it was a LOL.
I mean, why can’t we still write ‘hahahaha’ or ‘hehehehe’ especially since such an expression of laughter does connote SERIOUS laughter from the belly, from the heart? If you actually have to abbreviate a genuine and deep reactive emotion as a laugh, how funny was it really to begin with? Would you yell LOL at the end of a great punchline to a joke at a dinner party? Would that not offend the joke teller? Moreover would you not look like an incredibly and fantastically ridiculous ass?
I ask all of you LOL-ers, before your fingers hit the keyboard in a reflexive response to type ‘LOL’, to actually say it out loud before you press Enter. I ask you to repeat it while looking in the mirror. I ask you to replace an instinct to chuckle with a really loud LOL when you’re alone and a funny memory comes to head.
If it verbally sounds that absolutely wrong and utterly stupid when you hear it, know the LOL definitely looks that absolutely wrong and utterly stupid when you respond with it on the Internet. And just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t make it right- otherwise, you should jump of the proverbial bridge your mothers wonder if you’d jump off of because your friends would too.
In a world where the European Union is collapsing, the US economy is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and the Middle East is oscillating between stability and WWIII, the last thing mankind needs is an abbreviated laugh to substitute a real one.