Victoria’s Discreetness (Weekly Writing Challenge: Mind the Gap)

“Anyone who says there is nothing more beautiful than the sound of children hasn’t experienced the sound of silence.”
-Anonymous (or, can’t be found on Google)

Not having any children of my own, yet being an aunt to 2 and half kids (the half being in my sister-in-law’s belly), I find myself caught between a rattle and a hard liquor on the rocks. Thus, I shall attempt to approach the subject of children in adult-oriented places with great delicacy…

Kids are like underwear.

Ideally, as with underwear, children shouldn’t be seen at more formal functions; however, it may be acceptable for them to appear within more casual establishments and at White Castle.

For instance, at the opera no one would welcome seeing your boxers or your kids. On the other hand, most of us in Starbucks will simply sigh and roll our eyes at the sight of your thong string peeking out of your jeans, which is also the most common reaction to the sight of your kids being there too.

Now, let’s go into more controversial territory, that of transportation. Primarily cross-continent and/or cross-oceanic.

In an airport, no one’s really going to question parents bringing their kids- one understands you may not be able to travel ‘Commando’. In a first-class or business lounge, though, running around in your briefs would raise more than a few eyebrows and most likely end with one or two complaints from fellow lounge guests.

On the plane, it is natural for your bra strap and/or child to appear frequently. But as long as you’ve got a hook on both, we generally can handle the situation with toleration. However, if the bra or child continues to excessively kick the posterior of our seats, the more sleep-deprived of us may end up snapping the child.

Sometimes, the type kid makes a difference too; just as we might chuckle at the sight of funny days-of-the-week boxers, kids that are a bit of a ham can be quite entertaining really.

The type of parent is even more critical. Some are careless and leave their kids everywhere. Others have the audacity to expect people, such as a waitress in a restaurant, to clean up after their kids.

To those parents, I simply say: your dirty underwear, your responsibility to clean them.

As for you parents who find it totally acceptable to ask random strangers to watch your underwear while you go to the bathroom, or to hold your underwear for you while you go try something on… hire an undersitter or leave your underwear at your mother’s house when going to the mall or grocery store.

The finality of the verdict when it comes to children being in adult-oriented places hinges on how well put-together Victoria is; if she’s a mom that can adjust her bra and her kids without causing a scene, then it shouldn’t really be a problem and not many of us will mind it.

After all, in public, it is not fair to expect Victoria to keep her kids a secret…in fact, all the power to her in bringing them along as long as Victoria exercises discreetness.

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2 thoughts on “Victoria’s Discreetness (Weekly Writing Challenge: Mind the Gap)

  1. Pingback: Weekly Writing Challenge: Mind the Gap — Being a kid only looks easy … « Serendipity

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