Nowhere

 Untitled

I can’t cry for help,

I can’t help but cry,

The question is the same

As the answer,

Why?

Beneath me there’s nothing but ground,

Above me there’s nothing but air,

I sink when I walk,

I gasp despair.

Inside me there’s nothing but dirt,

Outside me there’s nothing clean,

It’s not I don’t want to,

It’s I chose not to be seen.

Save me, be who I imagine you to be,

I’ll believe you,

Sobriety’s doable when you lie to me.

Kiss me, with your love,

Because I have never been kissed,

It doesn’t have to last,

It just has to get me through this.

I am not sad, this is me,

This is who I really am when you are gone,

No make-up, don’t brush, no dressing up,

Just ugliness inside out.

Alone, I can be serene,

I can give in to misery,

Being with you disturbs my peace,

With you, I feel too at ease.

This hurts too much,

But not feeling it hurts more,

I would rather ache to death,

Than live forever, not feeling it at all.

I wish I had bottled it,

So I could smell what I can no longer see or touch,

I wish I lost my memory,

So I could forget what I remember so much.

The clock can’t turn back,

My heart can’t move ahead,

Time keeps moving,

While my life stands still.

Today began,

Yesterday hasn’t left,

Tomorrow will come,

But I am not ready for it yet.

Everyone walks around me,

You pass through me,

No one nears me,

You distance me.

When will it end?

When will it begin?

I am in the middle of it,

You stand at the edge, looking in.

Everyday, I am about to say goodbye,

Everyday, I wait for you to say hello,

Every moment, I am certain you know that.

Every moment, I am unsure you even know.

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