I can’t cry for help,
I can’t help but cry,
The question is the same
As the answer,
Beneath me there’s nothing but ground,
Above me there’s nothing but air,
I sink when I walk,
I gasp despair.
Inside me there’s nothing but dirt,
Outside me there’s nothing clean,
It’s not I don’t want to,
It’s I chose not to be seen.
Save me, be who I imagine you to be,
I’ll believe you,
Sobriety’s doable when you lie to me.
Kiss me, with your love,
Because I have never been kissed,
It doesn’t have to last,
It just has to get me through this.
I am not sad, this is me,
This is who I really am when you are gone,
No make-up, don’t brush, no dressing up,
Just ugliness inside out.
Alone, I can be serene,
I can give in to misery,
Being with you disturbs my peace,
With you, I feel too at ease.
This hurts too much,
But not feeling it hurts more,
I would rather ache to death,
Than live forever, not feeling it at all.
I wish I had bottled it,
So I could smell what I can no longer see or touch,
I wish I lost my memory,
So I could forget what I remember so much.
The clock can’t turn back,
My heart can’t move ahead,
Time keeps moving,
While my life stands still.
Yesterday hasn’t left,
Tomorrow will come,
But I am not ready for it yet.
Everyone walks around me,
You pass through me,
No one nears me,
You distance me.
When will it end?
When will it begin?
I am in the middle of it,
You stand at the edge, looking in.
Everyday, I am about to say goodbye,
Everyday, I wait for you to say hello,
Every moment, I am certain you know that.
Every moment, I am unsure you even know.